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Breaking the cycle

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was to make the decision to re-home Solomon, my handsome American Bulldog.

It was a decision I hoped I'd never have to make but after years... and I mean yeeeeears... of hoping he'd get his shit together, I was finally beyond hope.

Solomon (or Soli as I liked to call him) loved his humans... well, all humans really... but he was fear aggressive AF around other animals, including Sheba.

You never knew exactly what would set Solomon off... could be a loud noise, a knock at the door, a sudden movement or a bad day. Whatever it was didn't matter so much as doing your best to keep him from attacking Sheba.

As he grew older & stronger, he required near constant monitoring. No longer was he a puppy that would attack but a 90 lb dog whose attack could cause significant harm or worse.

We'd gone almost a year without any dog fights & I naively thought... hoped, really... that Soli had outgrown his fear.

And then it happened... again.

Within the span of 3 weeks, Soli attacked Sheba twice. I didn't think I was going to be able to separate them without one killing the other. It was beyond awful.

My heart broke for Sheba... the victim of Solomon's attacks who was left with no choice but to fight back to defend herself.

My heart broke for Solomon... the attacker who lived his life in total fear & anxiety who lashed out because he had no other coping mechanism.

My heart broke for me... the dog mama who loved both her fur babies so much she had allowed both to stay in an abusive relationship far longer than she should have & would have to make a very tough decision.

As I sat under the table that fateful day, soothing Sheba after yet another attack, I promised her I would keep her safe... that I would make whatever changes necessary so she didn't have to live in fear anymore. So I didn't have to live in fear anymore.

Sitting under that table... sobbing... it was impossible not to see how this situation was so similar to my childhood.

So this is how I break the cycle... loving both dogs & myself enough to do what was necessary...

It was clear what I had to do. I had to re-home Solomon. Oh the tears...

Never in my wildest dreams did I think Mr. Universe would be willing to take Solomon, so I didn't even think to ask.

But after posting a heart-wrenching video to social media, Mr. Universe said he wanted Solomon. This was the ideal situation... could his offer be real?

Over the course of the next week, we worked out the details. I would drive Soli halfway across the country to make the exchange. He would be reunited with his Papa & new Mama. Living in a home with loving humans & no other animals.

So, as I prepare to make the journey, I'm doing my best to soak up every last bit of love from my Solomon.

He has this spot on the deck...we call it his "post"...where he can keep an eye on things in the backyard.

Today I joined him for his last "patrol". 💔

Tomorrow we ride. 🚗

I'm not crying. YOU'RE crying. 😢


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