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Writer's pictureCandy Irven

Day 168: Relax into the discomfort

Updated: Dec 31, 2021


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It’s funny how life works…how people come into your life…how words pop into your brain and out your mouth…how messages reveal themselves via everyday signs…

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My post was super short yesterday because I needed to spend my time and energy listening to what was happening around me.  I needed time to sit with the messages…advice…guidance…my intuition.  

For the first time since I started this journey, I didn’t want to write…I didn’t want to share my thoughts…I didn’t want to share my voice.  I needed to be still…quiet…private.

Last night Mr. Universe and I went to a Yin Yoga class together.  It was our first class together and his first Yin class.  To say that Yin can be uncomfortable is an understatement.  The whole point is to stretch deep into a pose and hold it for several minutes…allowing the body to relax into the discomfort.  It may sound like torture…and maybe it is…but what in life doesn’t contain an element of torture before finally finding the release and expansion?

As we made our way into the second posture, our teacher began to speak about the impending discomfort.   That we had two choices…to make peace with it…meeting it at the surface…or to dive into it…going deeper…pushing beyond it.  With each posture, we would again be presented with these options.  

The same can be said for life.  With each challenge, we have two options:  

  1. To make peace with it, which may include truly coming to terms and letting go of the outcome or to ignore it thereby no longer resisting it…at least not in that moment..or

  2. To go within in search of the root of the discomfort…to deal with it, hopefully once and for all…to shake hands with it…and release it.

I tend to do a little of both.  Sometimes I’m able to make peace at the surface…sometimes I’m capable of ignoring it.  Other times I dive into it…rolling around in it in search of the root cause.  Maybe I can negotiate a truce, releasing myself from further battles…or maybe I see the cause but am unprepared for the fight. Regardless of my response, what I have learned is that I own the response. And that’s not easy.

It’s hard not to react to situations…to people…that push your buttons and cause discomfort.  It’s hard to not lash out at the source of the pain…or at least at what picked the scab to expose the pain.  It’s hard to remember that we find ourselves in these unpleasant situations for a purpose.  That they exist to teach us…allow us to grow…release us.

Some days I’m better at dealing than others.  I know this about myself and I see it in the people around me.  Some days I’m just too tired to try.  Maybe those are the days that it’d be best to just try and relax into the discomfort.  All I know for sure is that — like yoga — it should get easier with practice….right??


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