Updated: Dec 24, 2021
I met a new friend yesterday for coffee and we were sharing life stories of how we’ve used pro/con lists to make many, if not all, major life decisions. Ironically, the one time her list didn’t lean toward the pro column and she decided to chuck the list and follow her heart was in regard to her (now) husband. It was a touching story and I’m so glad she shared it with me.
For most of my life I’ve lived in my head. I’ve relied on lists…analyzed data…compared situations and experiences to ultimately make decisions based on what looked best on paper. While that process may have served me well at work, I’m not so sure it’s been the best way for me to make personal decisions. I mean, I used that method of living…and loving…on both husbands…clearly not a full proof method unless it’s “do the opposite of what you think day”.
Conversely, I tested the water with allowing my heart…my intuition…to make all the decisions with The Taste. While the outcome was similar – a failed relationship – the experience was far different. Despite a shitty situation, I was much happier. Things felt good. Had I allowed my head to make the decisions in this relationship, there never would have been one. While that might seem like a better option given the result, I would have missed out on so many huge lessons. Lessons that I’m so thankful to have finally learned. Lessons that will serve me in all future relationships.
So here I am at the beginning of a new relationship with Mr. Universe, allowing my heart to lead the way like a captain sailing into unchartered territory. (Ok, maybe not uncharted territory but it’s certainly been many years since I’ve been interested in someone that was present…available…open…vulnerable…confident…interested and interesting.)
As best I can tell, I’m only using my head as a throttle of sorts to keep the heart from heading out to sea at full speed. I think there’s something to be said for being cautious at the beginning…at least until I get my sea legs anyway.
I mean what’s the rush? The best part of meeting someone new is taking the time to get to know them…to learn new things from and about them…to feel that nervous excitement when you see them. Ideally, I hope to cultivate a relationship where these things never go away. Where we approach each day with child like eyes and a recognition that we’re both always changing…evolving…so we don’t settle into assumptions…patterns…become stagnant. Where the excitement sticks around and doesn’t dissipate.
Regardless of how I’m making decisions or what is leading me, the point is I’m open. Open to taking chances…open to new relationships…open to love. I’ve made the comment a couple of times that Mr. Universe isn’t the type of guy I’m normally interested in. (And by that, I mean (1) a grown ass man that is (2) available, (3) age appropriate, and (4) not a ‘schmedium’.) Ummmm, given my track record, I think that’s a really good thing. #factnotjudging