Goodbyes have always been hard for me. So rather than focusing on what I’m leaving, I’m going to focus on what I’m taking with me. . . love.
The first time we met was in March 2021. Traveling with my then-boyfriend, I arrived with the anticipation of falling in love.
We stayed in a quaint thatched-roof bohemian-style hut, ate the best street tacos I had ever tasted & traveled into your jungle to feel the energy of Chichen Itza.
I had assumed the trip would mark the beginning of a lasting love affair but shortly after returning to Asheville, our relationship was over.
He returned to his ex & my heart was shattered into a million pieces. But somehow my love for you, Tulum, grew stronger. . . so strong I contemplated buying a place within your borders. so we could be together more than apart.
You had gotten under my skin. . . crawled into my bones & was coursing through my veins. I had to return. And I did.
In January 2022, I came back. I told myself before I could buy a place, I needed to spend a month with you to experience what it would feel like to live within your grace. So I booked a 30-day trip.
This time it would be just you & me. . . alone, together for an entire month. The idea was both terrifying & exhilarating, as any love affair should be.
I showed up so uncertain of my future. . . What was my purpose? Why couldn't I find love? Should I buy a place in Tulum? Who was I supposed to be? And where was I supposed to live?
Slowly you reconnected me to my self. . . to my heart. . . in a way I had never before been connected.
Through breathwork, traditional Mayan ceremonies & psychedelics, you cracked me open. Wide.the.fuck.open.
You told me that the depth I feel heartbreak is directly equivalent to the depth I am capable of loving. . . bringing me so much peace & hope I could barely contain it. Filling every heartbreak with the potential of deep love.
You introduced me to my Mayan lineage & inspired me to forever wear my heart on my sleeve. . . literally as a tattooed-sacred-geometric-expression of your teachings on my right arm.
You opened my eyes & unburdened my heart. So much so that I didn’t want to leave. Feeling as is if I’d finally found my way home.
But I knew that leaving was important, like a little bird getting kicked out of the nest so she can learn to fly.
And fly I did. . . for a while, at least. . . with a sense of clarity unlike anything I’d felt before. My mantra became “make it easy & obvious” & the universe delivered.
I felt so connected. . . so alive.
And then I took an unexpected detour.
I had set the intention to work at #Salesforce & again the Universe delivered by making it easy & obvious to accept a contract position.
Like my previous love affairs, there was so much hope until there wasn’t. So like anyone with a broken heart. . . reeling from disappointment & disillusionment. . . I returned home. . . to you.
This trip proved to be much shorter than I had planned.
Intending to be here for a couple of weeks, withIn a matter of days I felt the fog lift & the clarity set back in. My visit with you was simply to remind myself of what I already knew:
-> Moving back to Indiana was the right move.
-> My business wasn’t dead but rather incubating.
-> My soul needed R&R after all of the deep healing over the past several years.
-> It's not possibly to make a mistake.
-> My heart is still wide.the.fuck.open.
Like before, you (re)connected me to my breath. . . to my purpose. . . to my heart.
Wherever I go, I will carry your magic within me. You will forever be one of my greatest loves.
Until next time & always.
Day 7 in #Tulum.