Updated: Jan 9, 2022
It’s funny how phrases can get stuck in your head…and then take on a life of their own. For example, I’ve had the phrase “It’s a match” rolling around in my head for a while now but somewhere along the line it started sounding a lot like The Target Lady from SNL. You know, she says “It’s approved”… and sometimes “It’s a match”.
Maybe this will help to jog your memory?
Anyway, this whole matching thing has been coming up with my coach AND in my coaching business (which was...www.corporatecandy.coach for a hot minute. Now you can find me at candyirven.com ... it's just easier.)
AND as I sort out my feelings surrounding my marriage/divorce. Uuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh…..!
I’ve been trying to be really aware of the words I use to describe what went wrong in my marriage. So aware, in fact, that I’ve started to notice patterns in the words and phrases I use to describe situations and people outside my marriage.
Case in point, for the past couple of weeks I’ve found myself talking about how my marriage (and working with my coach) felt like a full time job.
How both my husband (during our marriage) and now my coach seem to take up a lot of time and space (aka energy) in my life.
Funny thing, I met my husband a couple months after quitting my corporate job…and the transition out of corporate life was a lot harder than expected. I mean, all the sudden my time was my own. I didn’t have something filling 8-10 hours every day…until I did. My “new job” was dating and eventually marrying Mr. Universe.
Fast forward to a few months ago. Mr. Universe had moved out and I was face-to-face with the sobering realization that (yet another) marriage was over.
As I sat at my table wondering “What’s next?!?”, I get a message from my soon-to-be coach wanting to explore how we might be able to work together. Harmless enough right?
I mean, I was sitting there…thinking “There has to be more. Should I go back to work? Should I move? Am I really going to spend the rest of my life alone?” And just like that, I energetically called in a life / career coach.
Just like I’d done with Mr. Universe, I called in another full time job. Something/one to fill my day with. Someone to make me work…to make me do my work.
I missed the clues with Mr. Universe. Lessons of the heart are so much harder to grasp because…well…the heart is involved. Love is a powerful emotion and logic, rational thinking flies out the window.
But with my coach, it was so much easier to connect the dots. Well, I mean, it did still take a couple of months.
Rather than sit by myself and face the music, I had again called in someone to distract me from me. Only this time, the universe answered with a power hitter. Someone whose intention wasn’t at all to distract me from myself but to hold up a giant clear fucking mirror to reflect that shit right back. Uuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh…..!
I have to say, though, it’s working. Do I like what I see? Some days. Do I like what I feel? Some days. Is doing this work a full time job? Every fucking day.
So, as mad as I am to be going through another divorce, I have no one to blame but myself. I manifested the lessons I needed to learn. Did I do so in the healthiest way? More on that another time…
In the meantime, I’ve got a new job. Me. And it’s a match!