This is where I dream about the future & take steps to make it happen.
This is where I talk to clients about their hopes for the future & how they can make it happen.
And. . .
This is also where I start to panic. . . where I hear the whispers that I'm not good enough. . . where all my past "failures" haunt me. . . where the fear of losing myself (again) rises up & threatens to consume me.
This morning was one of those mornings. I woke up thinking about #money & couldn't shake it.
So instead of forcing myself to stare directly into the fear, I laid down on the floor & started #breathing.
In less than 20 mins I felt the source of my fear.
I saw it clear as day. I saw myself reaching outside of myself for comfort. . . stability. . . security. . . love.
It's an old program that's ingrained so fucking deep. A program that likes to sneak up & kidnap my #confidence when I'm not looking.
Then I heard. . .
"It's not out here, it's all in you." 💗
It's not out here, it's all in you.
In Human Design, I have an undefined heart & no gates. I'm wide the fuck open!
And while that might sound like a good thing, in this system it means that I don't innately know my own value.
So I seek external validation. . . approval. . . value. . . worth.
So I'm constantly seeking to find my own value. . . outside myself. Oh boy. . .
So knowing. . . f e e l i n g. . . my value is my work. It's where I need to grow.
And now, back to work.