In broad strokes, you might see me as a "sensitive advocate", the nickname for the 6 of Diamonds (#cardology @discoverthecards) or as a rebel who fights for fairness amongst the masses, having been born under an #Aquarian sun. (#astrology).
Those who know me really well though, know that I have a tendency to #peopleplease (#sixofdiamonds & #queenofdiamonds). Not surprisingly, it's a #trait that served me very well in my #career. It was this part of me. . . the part that wanted to make my bosses proud. . . the part that wanted to please the higher-ups. . . that drove my #success.
I came face-to-face with this part of myself during my brief tenure at #SF. That delicate part that used to only feel her #worth when elevating those around her. The part that was only able to see her #value through the eyes of someone she was trying desperately to please. Thank gawd I was good at impressing people!
Then there's the part of me that rebels. She's a bit flashier. . . obviously because you aren't really rebelling if no one sees you. It's this part that likes to know the #rules so that she can decide which ones to bend & which to break.
It was this part that felt a sense of glee #quitting a company that so many want to work for. Rebelling against the norm. . . against the status quo. Deciding to go left when everyone else goes right.
Finally, but maybe most importantly, there's the part of me that fights for the #underdog. The part that isn't afraid to speak on behalf of those who can't find their voice. The part that benefits equally from the people pleaser & the #rebel by integrating the strengths & weaknesses of both. . . integrating them to become her #superpower.
It was this part that drove me to write the blog on Tuesday. Despite what it might seem like, I didn't write it to justify why I quit my job or to bash my boss's boss.
I wrote it to give a voice to those who find themselves in similar situations but don't feel there's a way out. For those who have had similar experiences but don't feel comfortable speaking up. For those who don't know why they keep getting out of bed to do a job they don't love anymore. For those who feel they don't have the option to just #quit when they want, like I did.
Anytime I write, there's value in it for me - without a doubt! I'm processing. Integrating. Capturing a moment in time that somehow changed my life. But I can have that same experience writing shit in my journal.
When I write something here. . . when I hit that publish button. . . I do it knowing that someone. . . somewhere. . . at some point. . . will resonate with what I wrote & it might just change their life for the better. It might #inspire them in some way, which in turn might inspire someone else. #thebutterflyeffect
So while a small part of me isn't proud of calling out my former SF VP, I did it hoping that something will change. If not for someone on the team, maybe for her. . . ideally, both.
Because I know I was changed as a result. . . & it was definitely for the better.
Day 5 in #Tulum.
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