I used to drink. . . a lot. After seeing the toll it took on someone I cared deeply for & a relationship that was important to me, I stopped.
When I stopped. . . or maybe because I stopped. . . I dove deep into exploring my spirituality & what "being spiritual" meant to me.
Ironically, that exploration resulted in me completely giving my power to the spiritual community I was a part of.
Because most of them didn't drink, my choice to not drink became more about them than me. Not drinking became a sign of "being spiritual".
Then another romantic relationship with yet another someone who had struggled with alcohol led me to notice the energy of restricting. I noticed it in myself only after noticing it in him. #reflections
So I decided, no more restrictions!
And got drunk with some lovely humans who created a space of warmth. . . reception. . . & acceptance. There was no judging. . . no shaming. . . no scolding.
I'm not bragging about drinking too much. There's actually a part of me that is quite embarrassed.
I'm sharing because during this Full Moon in Scorpio 🌕 (Scorpio ascendent here 🙋🏼♀️), part of my path is to learn to relinquish control.
To allow that vulnerability I protect so fiercely to be exposed. . . seen. . . healed, if need be.
To move away from being aloof. . . distant. . . hidden & into connection. . . a deep connection with others & self.
Funny enough, allowing myself to let go & get drunk with friends in a safe place let me expand so much more fully into my true self.
To trust that I can let go of controlling a carefully cultivated image & still be seen as the spiritual being I'm working so hard to become.
Perhaps the biggest lesson was in the self forgiveness & acceptance that followed which allowed me to be much more in touch with my own spirituality simply because I was being authentically me. . . a spiritual being having a human experience.
I am human. I am spiritual. I am ever evolving & growing through all that I experience. 🙏🤍
((To my friends that are bonded to alcohol, I mean no offense or to minimize your struggle with this post. My heart goes out to you. . . to all of us that are bonded to something unhealthy.))